


dance, when you're broken open

by blackmagicwoman



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ???? i guess??, Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Pining, really just a series of vignettes leading to them getting together so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 18:49:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7185812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackmagicwoman/pseuds/blackmagicwoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto ignores the way Kuroo’s eyes linger on where Bokuto’s fingers are still touching his elbow and ignores the growing pool of heat in his stomach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	dance, when you're broken open

He is 17 and on the brink of a new beginning when he pulls Kuroo into a bathroom and sucks him off, right up against the door. It happens in the least romantic place, with a fairly mediocre build-up and is not at all how he envisioned he’d be celebrating his “going away”. Particularly seeing as this scenario was the one thing he was hoping the two of them could have a semi-adult conversation about before they jumped into it, but he reminds himself of how there’s always been a distinctly inverse relationship between what he wants and what he gets.  

 

Bokuto is 17 years of lean muscle and hard impact, and receives an envious sum of scholarship money for university from a scouting company, over which he feels particularly delighted. Fukurodani are ever proud of their captain who continues to lead as a shining beacon of what they believe relentless work and reckless optimism represent, and he’s happy for once that his enthusiasm culminated in progress. The other teams send congratulatory text messages, Terushima Yuuji telling him to “wait for him at Nationals”, and buried under a sentimental three-word-long “you go, girl” text from Konoha, sits a “Call me” from Kuroo.

 

“Hey,” croaks a disgruntled Kuroo. It’s past two in the morning.

 

“Hey. This is me calling you. Hi.”

 

“Disgusting. You’ve got some nerve waking me up at,” a shuffle for two beats as Kuroo likely gropes for the time, “ten past two on a school night. Just to make me congratulate you.”

 

“You could have texted like everyone else,” Bokuto laughs into the receiver and thinks about Kuroo’s groggy face, pulled down with sleep. “Also, I couldn’t sleep.”

 

“Hmm,” Kuroo sleepily considers. Bokuto imagines him rolling over in bed and hears a yawn on the other end. “All those texts keeping you up? Must be hard being so popular.”

 

“It is. Not like you would know though,” Bokuto smiles and hears Kuroo scoff on the other end. “I thought you had something more important to tell me, but if you’re done not-congratulating me now, I’ll hang up.”

 

“I’m throwing a party on Saturday,” Kuroo drawls and Bokuto can hear the weighty smirk in his voice. “It’s coming up to our last week at school before everyone leaves. Good timing too, because it’ll also conveniently serve as a not-congratulatory celebration for your scholarship.”

 

Bokuto considers the implications of going. Of meeting people for the last time. Of meeting Kuroo for the last time. Realization and regret hit him simultaneously – one like a brick in the face and the other a knee to the gut. He stays silent until Kuroo speaks up on the other end.

 

“Okay? I thought you’d be a little happier than that.”

 

“No, no, sorry,” Bokuto rubs the back of his neck. “It sounds amazing. Of course I’ll be there! You need a hand with arrangements?”

 

“Nah, I’ve covered most of the details. Sawamura’s bringing a bunch of girls from Karasuno, so tell me if you need a wingman.”

 

The conversation he’s been meaning to have with Kuroo is brought to the forefront for the nth time in the last two weeks. _I’m not into that_ , Bokuto wants to say. “What are your parents going to be doing?” he says instead.

 

“Away for the weekend. Mom’s going on a trip to Kyoto for work and dad’s visiting family. Which means the house is all mine ‘til Sunday night.”

 

“I’ll stay over and help clean up,” Bokuto suggests in what he hopes sounds like a sensible and not desperate tone.

 

“Sure dude,” Kuroo replies and groans like he’s stretching, the sound sending intangible vibrations through the receiver and straight down Bokuto’s spine. He needs to talk about this. Bokuto needs to talk to Kuroo about this.

 

“Thanks for organizing this,” Bokuto says, once more avoiding the topic and mentally kicking himself. “Means a lot.”

 

“Anything for you,” Kuroo says quietly and it sounds oddly tender in the sluggish, late-hour pitch of his voice. There’s a small silence and Bokuto allows himself to close his eyes and indulge in the image of Kuroo’s chest rising and falling slowly in time to the quiet breathing over the receiver. He imagines the gentleness of it, has long since realized that he can’t pull out the thorn that’s in his own body, can’t remedy the defeated feeling he gets every time Kuroo mentions leaving to study engineering at a separate university. He’ll remember him in the half-healed scars on his elbows and in the lingering flash of heat in his belly every time Kuroo smiled.

 

Bokuto swallows his guilt, buries his heart and steels his nerves for the coming week.

 

 

***

 

 

“Sick,” a slightly inebriated Terushima Yuuji states at Kuroo’s ear piercing. He got it with the moral support of Bokuto the previous week and was currently the centre of attention at the party. “I’ve been rubbing off on you, I see,” Terushima drawls.

 

“You wish,” Kuroo smiles back at him.

 

An equally buzzed Bokuto sways with a glass of vodka and orange behind Kuroo, watching this unfold. He doesn’t miss the way Terushima stares a little too long at Kuroo and laughs a little too hard at his comebacks. Maybe he’s drunk. Maybe he’s overthinking it.

 

Terushima spares Bokuto a glance before redirecting his attention back on Kuroo, and Bokuto can’t tell what they’re talking about anymore because the upbeat music hurts his head and he’s suddenly angry with everyone around him. Of course, it was unjustified in his own head too because he knows that the blood on his hands is only his. He can’t blame anyone for wanting to share the light Kuroo radiated – the boy never did belong to him.

 

“Are you having a good time?” A voice breaks Bokuto out of his misery.

 

He finds himself sitting on a couch next to Akaashi who looks just as out of place as he feels. “I thought this was kind of your scene,” Akaashi remarks, gesturing at the room in general. The crowd of people, some from Karasuno and some from Fukurodani, were currently singing along to some upbeat song playing out of Kuroo’s loudspeakers.

 

Bokuto shrugs. “Just thinking about how much I’ll miss everyone,” he replies cheerily, overcompensating with an excessive amount of zeal in his voice. His eyes never left Kuroo and Terushima huddled in a corner, Terushima now whispering something in Kuroo’s ear and making him snicker.

 

“Congratulations on the scholarship offer,” Akaashi says and yawns.

 

“Thanks. It was nice of Kuroo to do all this for me.” Bokuto grins at the lopsided, hand-made "Bokuto's The Man" banner hanging above Kuroo's television. 

 

Akaashi throws him a pointed look. “Yeah it was. Things are going to get a lot less noisy at joint practices now.”

 

Bokuto laughs and relaxes into the couch. “We made a good team,” he says fondly, not referring to anyone in particular but discretely referring to himself and Kuroo. Akaashi picks up on this.

 

“You still do. You know, Bokuto-san, going away is going to be difficult on everyone. Not just you.”

 

Bokuto looks back at Akaashi and Akaashi nods his head in the general direction of Kuroo.

 

“It’s nice to be able to say a proper goodbye. Looking back, you may regret it otherwise.” With that, Akaashi rises to his feet and leaves to join Konoha at the drinks table.

 

Bokuto swallows Akaashi’s cryptic words, repeats them in his head until they become ghosts. He downs his drink and maneuvers his way through people across the living room towards Kuroo. Terushima is now leaning in to speak to Kuroo and looks a bit too keen to share personal space.

 

Bokuto makes his presence known by touching Kuroo’s elbow. “Hey.”

 

Kuroo looks around at him and breaks into a smile, cheeks flushed, probably slightly buzzed himself. “Hey, you.”

 

“Oh, Bokuto, we were just talking about you,” Terushima quips, smile slanting upwards and he shifts his eyes to Kuroo, who gives him a meaningful, serious look.

 

Bokuto wants to ignore all the tension in his back as well as between Kuroo and Terushima, ignores the way Kuroo’s eyes linger on where Bokuto’s fingers are still touching his elbow and ignores the growing pool of heat in his stomach. He should say this now while he has the chance and while alcohol has loosened his tongue. Akaashi was right of course - he’ll regret not saying it.

 

“I have to speak to you,” Bokuto says to Kuroo softly. Terushima’s eyebrows shoot up and he barks out a laugh, understanding already setting in.

 

“Okay, loverboys, I’ll take the hint,” he says, and with that he pushes himself off the wall and heads towards the group of Karasuno boys singing half-heartedly and out of key on a couch next to the television, throwing a wink over his shoulder at Kuroo. Kuroo looks back at Bokuto who’s got a look in his eyes that’s akin to the one he gets right before they have a match. There’s also something like desperation that he can feel in the fingers that are now on the palm of his hand.

 

“Here? Or – ”

 

“No, is there maybe – ”

 

“Yeah, let’s just move to the hallway.”

 

Kuroo leads him outside the living room and down the hallway, towards the back of the house.

 

They stand there and Bokuto thinks about all the people in this house. How this is the last time he’ll see them all together under one roof and how their lives are going to be drastically different after this week.

 

“You’re cute when you’re drunk like this,” Kuroo remarks, pulling him out of his daze. He meets Kuroo’s heated gaze and lazy smile and the door inside his mind pushes open too easily. Years of light touches, shared laughter, skirting glances and quiet conversation make it too simple to take the two steps towards Kuroo without saying anything, and to smile into his mouth. To pull him into the bathroom, Bokuto falling to his knees as Kuroo bites his lip and moans into his hand.

 

Later, when the air shifts between them, after Kuroo kisses him sweetly, softly, apprehensively, hopefully, he tries to remember what he wanted to say to him but the experience leaves Bokuto overwhelmingly upset at how he cannot start something that they'll be forced to finish. How difficult it’s going to be to leave him once this week passes.

 

He knows Kuroo thinks he’s a coward when he walks back without him into the living room.

**Author's Note:**

> lmao ok so.........i discovered this ship through an artist on tumblr and despite having never read haikyuu im in bkr hell. sorry about this, bkt and kr are probably like ooc because i know im meant to add more HO HO HOs to their conversations but i cant write anything except angst which is so counterintuitive to this ship so what am i doing here??? hmm. next chapter will be up in like....a week max lol 
> 
> also the title is (c) rumi bc im a pretentious shit


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